The Deal I Made with God - Chapter 5

Chapter 5


After talking with so many people and listening to their opinions on the subject of abortion, I was often shocked by what they said. During the time I was praying so much for my sick cat, Seth and begging God to let him live, promising that I would do whatever He wanted, I remembered the word “abortion” kept coming to mind. It occurred to me then that maybe the Lord wanted me to do something that had to do with abortion.


After doing some research I found there are crisis pregnancy centers available everywhere, and they really want to be of help and support. Some will do ultrasounds so you can actually see your baby in real time. There are even mobile vans set up near abortion clinics that will do ultrasounds at no cost. I learned that not all pregnancies are viable, meaning the babies would not survive, so there would be no need for an abortion in the first place. There are also special homes set up where pregnant girls and women can live during their pregnancies and where some can even stay after the babies are born. I was gratified to discover that the morning-after pill can even be reversed if the issue is addressed right away. I learned about the pill the abortion clinics give that causes the baby to abort. I was shocked to discover that such a thing even existed. Not long afterward, I met two young women who actually used it, and it didn’t go very well for either one of them. They experienced severe pain, cramping and bleeding. One of those young girls actually lost her baby in the toilet! Both of these girls were alone and very young. I couldn’t believe that any responsible clinic would give this to a young person to deal with by themselves, at home, completely alone and at risk!


Huge numbers of people truly want a child but are not able to conceive. And while there is a stigma about placing a child up for adoption, I feel that it’s actually the most unselfish thing a woman could do to place a child up for adoption. There are many options available to desperate women today. No one ever needs to turn to an abortion clinic for help -- remember they are in the abortion business, and their bottom line depends on the desperation of women.


While doing my research I found there are also many post-abortion support groups available. I learned that many other women felt as I did – I was not alone. Many are unable to forgive themselves after abortions. They still carry the same guilt and shame that I did. In my struggle, I searched and found a Bible study/post abortion support group called: “Forgiven and Set Free.” I’m incredibly thankful that I found it because it was exactly what I needed – a wonderfully healing experience for me. All the other ladies in the group were told the same thing that I was at the abortion clinic -- that the baby was just a blob of tissue and no big deal. When I went to the clinics I didn’t receive any counseling and I learned that no one in the group received counseling from their clinics either. Though none of us realized it, abortions were and are a money-making business, which was why the clinics made it seem like abortion was the best and only option.


We did something I found interesting at the Bible study. We were instructed to draw a circle that we divided into pie wedges, which we then labeled with the names of those responsible for our abortions. I had never thought of it that way before. Of course, I blamed myself, because I’m responsible for my own actions. I also put some blame on the abortion clinics for not being truthful about abortions and what they really entail. I also put some blame on our government – because they’re in such a high position, passing laws that hurt instead of helping needy people. I feel they have either ignored or lack understanding regarding abortions. It seems to me that if they did, they couldn’t possibly say it’s not only permissible, but acceptable, when in reality it’s murder! I also put some blame on our society. It seems like a big part of our society accepts abortion as if it’s no big deal! Some blame went to my parents, and a lot of it I placed on my first boyfriend because he continually wanted us to have sex, then demanded that I have the abortion. I learned so much from going to the “Forgiven and Set Free” Bible study. It was awesome – incredibly healing to discover that God had forgiven me which meant that I could forgive myself. God loves each of us more than we can possibly understand, and He doesn’t want any of us to live our lives in guilt and emotional pain! God is amazing!

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